It was a Monday. Mondays are fun and this particular one started with one f my favorite outings. Grocery shopping. Supermarkets aren't scary. Most people find them fun--possibly even an escape from the craziness of a household filled with children. However, when I shop for food, I have to bring the craziness with me--and as anyone who shares in my adventurous personality can attest, all sorts of things can and do happen. That day was no exception.
So there I was, in the market shopping--with the whole gang--and a young woman with a little baby walked over to me. She started out nicely enough, "Are these all your children?" Being used to this line of questioning I readied myself for the onslaught of negative comments about the size of my family. "Yes", I calmly replied, "These are my kids."
Then she said something that made me wonder. "You must be a fantastic father.", she said with a smile. She continued in a nostalgic tone, "I remember my Dad used to take us with him wherever he went. I was always riding on his shoulders, like your little boy is on yours." I had John Paul, my five year old, on my shoulders. At the moment, he was pulling my ears. Again, she smiled wide and continued, “I will never forget those days. I loved him so much, he was an amazing man.”
I asked if he was still alive but she changed the subject quickly. “You know something”, she said sternly as if she had just come to understand a very difficult concept, “I admire you. My husband would never do what you are doing. He works and then goes out with his friends. He sees the kids for a little while each day and never would put himself in the kind of situation you are in now. 5 kids alone with you in a store? You must be crazy! Or hopelessly in love with your family.” She stopped smiling. I didn’t know what to say except, “You are right, on both accounts. I’m crazy and hopelessly in love with them.”
She smiled deeply again and she seemed to be waiting for me to say something. I smiled back, and assured her that I would pray for her and her family. I said, “I work with men a lot. We are a confused bunch when it comes to family sometimes. We are always searching for some next big adventure, a way to prove our manhood, and we search all over the place and sadly it takes a lot of trial and error to finally realize it’s right under our noses at home. Being a good husband and father is the greatest adventure.”
She smiled and had a tear in her eye. She said, “ That was beautiful. Are you religious? Was that from the bible?” I smiled really big this time. “Yes, I am Catholic and I love my faith. The Church has much to say about Fatherhood but this I learned from somewhere else.”
Excited she said, “Where? I want to read the book.” I laughed so did she. “What’s so funny? She asked me. I said, “Nothing, it’s just that I learned that from the Disney movie, ‘The Incredibles.’”
She snorted and laughed so hard. She said I must be an INCREDIBLE Dad. I said, “If so, God has answered my prayers, but it’s an everyday journey.” It's something I will never be done with. Everyday I wake up, I choose to be the best Father I can. Where else can I be a doctor, chef, teacher, mentor, friend, guide, Indiana Jones, Aragorn, son of Arathorn, ( I almost lost her here but came back quickly to the point!), Prince and hero all in one day? ”
Her face was washed over with astonishment. Smiling again with a look of tenderness in her eyes she agreed, "Yes, a father is all that and more." She assured me of her prayers, as I did the same for her. Then she said that John Paul was picking his nose and putting in my hair. I shrugged. “That’s okay. It’s a game we play. Later we’ll pretend to be monkeys and he’ll pick them all out!” She said goodbye to me and then spoke to my kids, "You guys are blessed to have such a loving Daddy. I hope you thank God for him.": The kids all smiled their best"I'm in a public place and need to be polite " smile and said, "Yes, we do."
It was sad and uplifting at the same time. But I learned an important lesson about being a Dad. I never thought my example as a father could bring joy to others who missed their fathers. I am grateful I could make this young woman laugh, smile and snort. I will pray for her that she can grow closer to God and in turn influence her husband to do the same.
And Yes.
The boogers are all out.
Almost.
So there I was, in the market shopping--with the whole gang--and a young woman with a little baby walked over to me. She started out nicely enough, "Are these all your children?" Being used to this line of questioning I readied myself for the onslaught of negative comments about the size of my family. "Yes", I calmly replied, "These are my kids."
Then she said something that made me wonder. "You must be a fantastic father.", she said with a smile. She continued in a nostalgic tone, "I remember my Dad used to take us with him wherever he went. I was always riding on his shoulders, like your little boy is on yours." I had John Paul, my five year old, on my shoulders. At the moment, he was pulling my ears. Again, she smiled wide and continued, “I will never forget those days. I loved him so much, he was an amazing man.”
I asked if he was still alive but she changed the subject quickly. “You know something”, she said sternly as if she had just come to understand a very difficult concept, “I admire you. My husband would never do what you are doing. He works and then goes out with his friends. He sees the kids for a little while each day and never would put himself in the kind of situation you are in now. 5 kids alone with you in a store? You must be crazy! Or hopelessly in love with your family.” She stopped smiling. I didn’t know what to say except, “You are right, on both accounts. I’m crazy and hopelessly in love with them.”
She smiled deeply again and she seemed to be waiting for me to say something. I smiled back, and assured her that I would pray for her and her family. I said, “I work with men a lot. We are a confused bunch when it comes to family sometimes. We are always searching for some next big adventure, a way to prove our manhood, and we search all over the place and sadly it takes a lot of trial and error to finally realize it’s right under our noses at home. Being a good husband and father is the greatest adventure.”
She smiled and had a tear in her eye. She said, “ That was beautiful. Are you religious? Was that from the bible?” I smiled really big this time. “Yes, I am Catholic and I love my faith. The Church has much to say about Fatherhood but this I learned from somewhere else.”
Excited she said, “Where? I want to read the book.” I laughed so did she. “What’s so funny? She asked me. I said, “Nothing, it’s just that I learned that from the Disney movie, ‘The Incredibles.’”
She snorted and laughed so hard. She said I must be an INCREDIBLE Dad. I said, “If so, God has answered my prayers, but it’s an everyday journey.” It's something I will never be done with. Everyday I wake up, I choose to be the best Father I can. Where else can I be a doctor, chef, teacher, mentor, friend, guide, Indiana Jones, Aragorn, son of Arathorn, ( I almost lost her here but came back quickly to the point!), Prince and hero all in one day? ”
Her face was washed over with astonishment. Smiling again with a look of tenderness in her eyes she agreed, "Yes, a father is all that and more." She assured me of her prayers, as I did the same for her. Then she said that John Paul was picking his nose and putting in my hair. I shrugged. “That’s okay. It’s a game we play. Later we’ll pretend to be monkeys and he’ll pick them all out!” She said goodbye to me and then spoke to my kids, "You guys are blessed to have such a loving Daddy. I hope you thank God for him.": The kids all smiled their best"I'm in a public place and need to be polite " smile and said, "Yes, we do."
It was sad and uplifting at the same time. But I learned an important lesson about being a Dad. I never thought my example as a father could bring joy to others who missed their fathers. I am grateful I could make this young woman laugh, smile and snort. I will pray for her that she can grow closer to God and in turn influence her husband to do the same.
And Yes.
The boogers are all out.
Almost.
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